Be the Best First Date of His Life!

I was given another brief for another article. How to be the best first date of his life! Unpublished.

1. KNOW WHAT YOU WANT or at least KNOW WHAT YOU DON’T WANT Though it’s hard for you to believe, guys take the time and the effort to plan that FIRST DATE, so if he asks you beforehand about where you’d like to eat or the kind of movies you watch don’t say “maski saan” or “maski ano”. Know what you want or at least know what you don’t want, don’t be afraid to tell him that you don’t like to have dinner at the neighborhood “isawan” and that you don’t want to watch Scary Movie 5, give him ideas on what you like and it can take off some of the pressure from first date jitters.

2. KNOW HOW TO ACCEPT COMPLIMENTS AND GIVE THEM BACK If he tells you that you’re beautiful say “thank you” and flash that winning smile, better yet, say “you’re not too shabby yourself”…or something to that effect. Don’t just brush off a compliment from him by changing the subject or pretending not to hear. “Bolero ka talaga” and “tumahimik ka nga” are not good comebacks to “You look good”. It’s hard for us to build up the confidence to give a sincere compliment, and acknowledging that compliment makes the thumb twiddling worthwhile.

3. SMALL TALK Start out small. Talk about how the two of you met, either through class or a common friend, that terror professor or how you spent hours trying to find that class held at “TBA”. Look for common things of interest that you can confidently share about and don’t go rushing into the realm of metaphysical ideologies that can shape your future and the future of mankind! — Unless the two of you are into that. Don’t talk about past relationships on the first date. We don’t want to know how many men you’ve dated, how bad your past relationship was, or how good your first boyfriend treated you – not yet at least. Guys try to draw you into a comfortable rapport that will make the mood light, not just for you, but for him too. The point is, take it slow, don’t force a conversation and don’t throw out one word answers to his probing questions.

4. CASUAL TOUCHES Touch him, be subtle and casual. Remove that imaginary lint from his shirt, preferably on the collar, shoulder or upper chest area. When you laugh at his joke or witty comeback hit him lightly on the arm or hand if within reach. When walking some distance from one place to another, hang on his arm for a few seconds. Men use the 5 senses a lot, exploit these senses, we are especially responsive to touch and the sense of smell. Looking beautiful on the first date is expected, but smelling incredibly good and having that tender hand makes men tremble. The objective is to physically show him how it feels like to be near you. And believe me, once he sees how good it is to be around you, he’ll do everything to get you to remove more “lint” from his shirt.

5. BE SINCERE IN YOUR APPRECIATION Now that the date is winding down, be sure to thank him sincerely. If all went well and you honestly want to see him again, tell him. There’s nothing wrong in letting him know that you had a great time and you would want to go out again. You’ll enjoy watching him all giddy with delight. It validates all their pre-date planning and grooming. It lets him know that there’s something there to explore and that he has sparked your interest. Once he sees you to your door, say thank you for the wonderful time spent with him, and if you really like him, give him a light kiss on the cheek. You can be sure to hear a story that starts out like this: “Pare, let me tell you about the best first date of my life…”

When Boys Go Out…

A friend of mine asked me to write an article for her magazine…I think I bullied my way into it hahaha! She wanted an article about the different types of Night Outs for guys.Published in CHALK Magazine. Unedited Version.

“I’LL BE AT MY BOY’S HOUSE”. A typical boys’ night out, a chance to catch up about each others lives, reminisce about how things used to be when everyone was single, to rant about girlfriends, to talk about other women, and to get stupidly wasted in a relatively safe and inexpensive environment. Yes, I know, surprisingly, we men talk, and we talk a lot. Don’t worry, we don’t talk about intimate things about our girlfriends, it’s one of those topics that are off limits to us guys. Recalling the good old days when we went out whenever we wanted to, retelling stories that started out with “remember that girl…”, when life was not complicated by other people’s emotions. Don’t get me wrong though, we’re not unhappy, it’s just a venue where we can say “Women!” and roll our eyes after. This is where we can bond, with no one around, just close friends with your favorite bottle of alcohol.

“FRIEND IN TROUBLE”. It’s when one of the guys unexpectedly calls up your boy and asks to meet up for a few drinks. Problems from family to the girlfriend, it can take a couple of hours to a whole night. Boys use friends as emotional shock absorbers. Yes, we have emotions and we cry sometimes. We need an understanding friend who will listen in times of distress, and that friend is your boyfriend. There is nothing to be suspicious about, unless he has a different friend in trouble every single night.

“WHERE TO?!?”. Going to paradise via Air Force One? Who’s Classmate? Ah yes, these are the moments when a friend wants an “adventure”, to say the least. Single friends may have a blast at these places but most men who are in a relationship don’t really enjoy these kinds of night outs. It’s expensive (the better bars of course) and the experience is overrated. Let me tell you, It’s just videoke with a pretty woman (you’d be surprised with the pretty women) beside you serving you drinks and feeding you. That is until we ask for more than the usual service. It’s fun to see your friends having a good time and doing brainless, funny things though. These “adventures” are harmless entertainment and a fountain of hilarious “remember that time” stories. Don’t be alarmed when your man tells you that they went to a girly bar. In the first place, he told you and that usually means he didn’t do anything stupid and secondly trust your boyfriend.

“DON’T WAIT UP, GOING OUT WITH THE GUYS”. And we mean it. This is an all-nighter; we’ll be out until we raise the sun. Bar-hopping and going from one club to the other, posting up on a wall, checking out women. It’s one of those nights when we want to see and be seen. Don’t worry, we look and ogle, but that’s as far as it goes. We live vicariously through our single male friends, chivying and daring them to hit on beautiful ladies. Sometimes, when I find myself in some bar’s chair with a bottle in hand, basking in the light of the early morning with a silly smile on my face, I know it has been a night. In the end, it’s all about being with the “crew” and having a great time.

Being with the boys is a support system that we rely on, not only in times of girlfriend woes, but also in times of emotional need, whether to sympathize or to celebrate. Spending our time with our friends is a way to reinforce our personal space, a life outside “in a relationship”. Boys’ night outs are the best venue to reconnect with good friends. What it boils down to are relationships. People are social beings and keeping relationships are important to anyone, be it boys or girls. Nurturing these relationships are essential especially the ones that matter.

WHAT NOT TO DO WHEN YOUR BOY IS WITH HIS BOYS:

1. Do not send him an SMS every minute of the night and ask “what are you doing?” or “where are you?” instead of enjoying his night, he’ll be spending his time with his head down answering your every message. Just tell him to have fun, to take care, and if he could possibly let you know where he is and when he gets home so that you won’t worry.
2. Resist the urge to call him up on his mobile during the night. His posse will give him a hard time about it, so texts are good enough. If he hasn’t given you an update on his night since he left his house, and you’re reasonably worried, then its ok, give him a call.
3. If you have his friends numbers, do not text them and ask them about the night. It will come across as spying and lack of trust. If you want to ask, ask your man.
4. Do not invite yourself over. There is a reason why it’s called a boys night out. If he wanted you over, he would have invited you.

HE’S SPENDING MORE TIME WITH THE BOYS THAN WITH YOU WHEN:

1. He can’t say no to every invite that his crew gives out.
2. He has his entourage with him everywhere you go.
3. He can’t talk about anything else than what he and the guys did last night.
4. He considers it a date when you and he, with the whole gang, is at the same table with 5 buckets of beer.
5. He checks with his boys first before he can plan a day with you.

HOW TO GET YOUR MAN TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH YOU:

1. Let him have his night outs; don’t make a big deal out of it. He’ll appreciate you understanding his need to be with the boys.
2. Let him see that your world doesn’t revolve around him and that you have your night outs as well. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder”, just make sure you can span the absence in a heartbeat.
3. When you do spend time with each other, be “maasikaso”, not the motherly type, but the very sweet “malambing” type or very sweet “suplada” type. Every man wants to be taken cared of, just find out what type of “maasikaso” your guy responds to and he’ll be coming back for more.
4. Great Food. Whether you cook great food, know where to find great food, or always have great food at arms reach, he’ll stay.
5. Always look your best and smell incredibly good. The objective is to physically show him how good it feels to be near you.

When Boys Go Out…

A friend of mine asked me to write an article for her magazine…I think I bullied my way into it hahaha! She wanted an article about the different types of Night Outs for guys.Published in CHALK Magazine. Unedited Version.

“I’LL BE AT MY BOY’S HOUSE”. A typical boys’ night out, a chance to catch up about each others lives, reminisce about how things used to be when everyone was single, to rant about girlfriends, to talk about other women, and to get stupidly wasted in a relatively safe and inexpensive environment. Yes, I know, surprisingly, we men talk, and we talk a lot. Don’t worry, we don’t talk about intimate things about our girlfriends, it’s one of those topics that are off limits to us guys. Recalling the good old days when we went out whenever we wanted to, retelling stories that started out with “remember that girl…”, when life was not complicated by other people’s emotions. Don’t get me wrong though, we’re not unhappy, it’s just a venue where we can say “Women!” and roll our eyes after. This is where we can bond, with no one around, just close friends with your favorite bottle of alcohol.

“FRIEND IN TROUBLE”. It’s when one of the guys unexpectedly calls up your boy and asks to meet up for a few drinks. Problems from family to the girlfriend, it can take a couple of hours to a whole night. Boys use friends as emotional shock absorbers. Yes, we have emotions and we cry sometimes. We need an understanding friend who will listen in times of distress, and that friend is your boyfriend. There is nothing to be suspicious about, unless he has a different friend in trouble every single night.

“WHERE TO?!?”. Going to paradise via Air Force One? Who’s Classmate? Ah yes, these are the moments when a friend wants an “adventure”, to say the least. Single friends may have a blast at these places but most men who are in a relationship don’t really enjoy these kinds of night outs. It’s expensive (the better bars of course) and the experience is overrated. Let me tell you, It’s just videoke with a pretty woman (you’d be surprised with the pretty women) beside you serving you drinks and feeding you. That is until we ask for more than the usual service. It’s fun to see your friends having a good time and doing brainless, funny things though. These “adventures” are harmless entertainment and a fountain of hilarious “remember that time” stories. Don’t be alarmed when your man tells you that they went to a girly bar. In the first place, he told you and that usually means he didn’t do anything stupid and secondly trust your boyfriend.

“DON’T WAIT UP, GOING OUT WITH THE GUYS”. And we mean it. This is an all-nighter; we’ll be out until we raise the sun. Bar-hopping and going from one club to the other, posting up on a wall, checking out women. It’s one of those nights when we want to see and be seen. Don’t worry, we look and ogle, but that’s as far as it goes. We live vicariously through our single male friends, chivying and daring them to hit on beautiful ladies. Sometimes, when I find myself in some bar’s chair with a bottle in hand, basking in the light of the early morning with a silly smile on my face, I know it has been a night. In the end, it’s all about being with the “crew” and having a great time.

Being with the boys is a support system that we rely on, not only in times of girlfriend woes, but also in times of emotional need, whether to sympathize or to celebrate. Spending our time with our friends is a way to reinforce our personal space, a life outside “in a relationship”. Boys’ night outs are the best venue to reconnect with good friends. What it boils down to are relationships. People are social beings and keeping relationships are important to anyone, be it boys or girls. Nurturing these relationships are essential especially the ones that matter.

WHAT NOT TO DO WHEN YOUR BOY IS WITH HIS BOYS:

1. Do not send him an SMS every minute of the night and ask “what are you doing?” or “where are you?” instead of enjoying his night, he’ll be spending his time with his head down answering your every message. Just tell him to have fun, to take care, and if he could possibly let you know where he is and when he gets home so that you won’t worry.
2. Resist the urge to call him up on his mobile during the night. His posse will give him a hard time about it, so texts are good enough. If he hasn’t given you an update on his night since he left his house, and you’re reasonably worried, then its ok, give him a call.
3. If you have his friends numbers, do not text them and ask them about the night. It will come across as spying and lack of trust. If you want to ask, ask your man.
4. Do not invite yourself over. There is a reason why it’s called a boys night out. If he wanted you over, he would have invited you.

HE’S SPENDING MORE TIME WITH THE BOYS THAN WITH YOU WHEN:

1. He can’t say no to every invite that his crew gives out.
2. He has his entourage with him everywhere you go.
3. He can’t talk about anything else than what he and the guys did last night.
4. He considers it a date when you and he, with the whole gang, is at the same table with 5 buckets of beer.
5. He checks with his boys first before he can plan a day with you.

HOW TO GET YOUR MAN TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH YOU:

1. Let him have his night outs; don’t make a big deal out of it. He’ll appreciate you understanding his need to be with the boys.
2. Let him see that your world doesn’t revolve around him and that you have your night outs as well. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder”, just make sure you can span the absence in a heartbeat.
3. When you do spend time with each other, be “maasikaso”, not the motherly type, but the very sweet “malambing” type or very sweet “suplada” type. Every man wants to be taken cared of, just find out what type of “maasikaso” your guy responds to and he’ll be coming back for more.
4. Great Food. Whether you cook great food, know where to find great food, or always have great food at arms reach, he’ll stay.
5. Always look your best and smell incredibly good. The objective is to physically show him how good it feels to be near you.

This is what I do. This is who I am.

I am a STATE OF MIND, an ASPIRATION, an IDEOLOGY.

I am a CONCEPT that is made TANGIBLE to elicit a REACTION, a RESPONSE, a MOVEMENT.

I am an ABSTRACT that is made REAL to INSPIRE, to LIGHT FIRES, to FEED your SENSES.

I am a VALUE that is BROUGHT to LIFE, to PRY OPEN your EYES and CURE your APATHY.

This is what I do. This is who I am.

Be a part of the community.

Be a part of PASSION PRIDE FAMILY.

Break Up Season

Break Up Season by Tonimari Santos. go to www.hulabaluga.multiply.com

It’s been a very common, almost daily entry that I find this in my Facebook accounts.

“Girl” and “Boy” ended their relationship.

Although, come to think of it, this kind of thing probably happens everyday if not every minute. Sad part about it is, it’s happening to most of my friends.

It’s never a good experience breaking someone’s heart and ending a relationship. I’ve always believed that if you think you can hold on, if you can still take it, if you can still try and understand your partner, then this should never be an option. In every relationship, most people say that the partners define if it will work out or not, if she’ll stay or leave, work it out or give up.

I’ve read somewhere that it isn’t love and luck. It’s commitment and companionship. Commitment means that you have powerful personal, moral, and structural reasons to stay in the relationship. Companionship means that you and your partner form a unified team against whatever challenges life hands you. Team members may fight, disagree, and encounter stalemates, but they know that their happiness and satisfaction in life depends on the success of the team–not on their individual success.

Regardless of whether you’re a man or a woman, whether you pay the bills or stay at home, or whether you need your partner more than your partner needs you, there is only one person in control of any relationship. That person has the power to turn a relationship around or run it into the ground. And that person usually never realizes how much power he/she wields until it is too late.

That person is you.

You have the choice to either react to the situation you’re in (by complaining about your relationship, allowing yourself to be swamped by negative emotions, or feeling out of control), or to take responsibility and choose your actions.

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can hurt you without your consent.”

Even if you cannot change your partner’s behavior, you can choose how you respond to that behavior. You can internalize the blame, the hurt, and the criticism, or you can take responsibility for your own feelings and choose to act the way you want to feel.

Think again about that last concept. You should act the way you want to feel. If you want to feel more loving towards your partner, act more loving. If you want to feel happier in your relationship, smile more and express gratitude for the good things. It’s one of the strangest aspects of human psychology that the more you act the way you want to feel (thankful, peaceful, loving, affectionate, etc.) the more you will begin to feel that way.

Few people realize this. When a relationship begins to crumble, their first instinct is to act out their emotions. They feel hurt, so they lash out. They feel criticized, so they become defensive. They feel vulnerable, so they close up. These are reactions, not actions. Your feelings should NOT make you act in ways that you don’t want to.

You have the power to transform your relationship, even if your partner doesn’t want to. That’s because your behavior has an enormous influence on your partner, to the point that couples actually grow alike over time. We can’t help but pick up our partner’s moods, preferences, and ways of saying certain things. If you transform yourself–your attitude, the way you communicate, how often you show love and affection–your partner will be incapable of resisting.

A happy, fulfilling relationship begins with you.

Break Up Season

Break Up Season by Tonimari Santos. go to www.hulabaluga.multiply.com

It’s been a very common, almost daily entry that I find this in my Facebook accounts.

“Girl” and “Boy” ended their relationship.

Although, come to think of it, this kind of thing probably happens everyday if not every minute. Sad part about it is, it’s happening to most of my friends.

It’s never a good experience breaking someone’s heart and ending a relationship. I’ve always believed that if you think you can hold on, if you can still take it, if you can still try and understand your partner, then this should never be an option. In every relationship, most people say that the partners define if it will work out or not, if she’ll stay or leave, work it out or give up.

I’ve read somewhere that it isn’t love and luck. It’s commitment and companionship. Commitment means that you have powerful personal, moral, and structural reasons to stay in the relationship. Companionship means that you and your partner form a unified team against whatever challenges life hands you. Team members may fight, disagree, and encounter stalemates, but they know that their happiness and satisfaction in life depends on the success of the team–not on their individual success.

Regardless of whether you’re a man or a woman, whether you pay the bills or stay at home, or whether you need your partner more than your partner needs you, there is only one person in control of any relationship. That person has the power to turn a relationship around or run it into the ground. And that person usually never realizes how much power he/she wields until it is too late.

That person is you.

You have the choice to either react to the situation you’re in (by complaining about your relationship, allowing yourself to be swamped by negative emotions, or feeling out of control), or to take responsibility and choose your actions.

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can hurt you without your consent.”

Even if you cannot change your partner’s behavior, you can choose how you respond to that behavior. You can internalize the blame, the hurt, and the criticism, or you can take responsibility for your own feelings and choose to act the way you want to feel.

Think again about that last concept. You should act the way you want to feel. If you want to feel more loving towards your partner, act more loving. If you want to feel happier in your relationship, smile more and express gratitude for the good things. It’s one of the strangest aspects of human psychology that the more you act the way you want to feel (thankful, peaceful, loving, affectionate, etc.) the more you will begin to feel that way.

Few people realize this. When a relationship begins to crumble, their first instinct is to act out their emotions. They feel hurt, so they lash out. They feel criticized, so they become defensive. They feel vulnerable, so they close up. These are reactions, not actions. Your feelings should NOT make you act in ways that you don’t want to.

You have the power to transform your relationship, even if your partner doesn’t want to. That’s because your behavior has an enormous influence on your partner, to the point that couples actually grow alike over time. We can’t help but pick up our partner’s moods, preferences, and ways of saying certain things. If you transform yourself–your attitude, the way you communicate, how often you show love and affection–your partner will be incapable of resisting.

A happy, fulfilling relationship begins with you.

This is what I do. This is who I am.

I am a STATE OF MIND, an ASPIRATION, an IDEOLOGY.

I am a CONCEPT that is made TANGIBLE to elicit a REACTION, a RESPONSE, a MOVEMENT.

I am an ABSTRACT that is made REAL to INSPIRE, to LIGHT FIRES, to FEED your SENSES.

I am a VALUE that is BROUGHT to LIFE, to PRY OPEN your EYES and CURE your APATHY.

This is what I do. This is who I am. Be a part of the community. Be a part of PASSION PRIDE FAMILY.

This is what I do. This is who I am.

I am a STATE OF MIND, an ASPIRATION, an IDEOLOGY.

I am a CONCEPT that is made TANGIBLE to elicit a REACTION, a RESPONSE, a MOVEMENT.

I am an ABSTRACT that is made REAL to INSPIRE, to LIGHT FIRES, to FEED your SENSES.

I am a VALUE that is BROUGHT to LIFE, to PRY OPEN your EYES and CURE your APATHY.

This is what I do. This is who I am. Be a part of the community. Be a part of PASSION PRIDE FAMILY.